The Agony of Ecstasy
by klindsay
Summary: A prank is played on Kate and Rick - and Espo gets involved. The tables are turned on the pranksters and the Detective sent to investigate.


Esposito leaned on the doorframe, almost able to hold in the smirk that was dancing in the corner of his mouth. "Dude, you're lucky that L.T. intercepted this report before it got out to the cruisers".

"Yeah, lucky", Rick replied. "What the fuck? I don't even have close neighbors".

A sigh came from the detective. "Doesn't matter man, we get a call, we gotta check it out. You know that".

"Okay. I get it. What do you need to know".

"Well, I assume from the complaint that Beckett is here?"

Castle expelled a deep sigh. "Yes", he cursed through tight lips.

"Then I need to talk to her... alone".

Turning without another word, Rick stalked into the room off the office to get his fiancee. "Kate? Apparently you need to come to the door. It's Espo".

Javier wasn't close enough to hear what she said, but the tone was clear as day. She was _not_ happy. A minute or two later she came around the corner. Wearing a blue silk robe, he was sure this isn't how Beckett wanted to be seen by one of her partners.

"What", Kate snapped testily. Her eyes were as dark as he'd ever seen them, and he'd been around her enough to see plenty of dark moods.

"Umm, ma'am? I'm here to let you know that there's been a noise complaint from one of your neighbors. They reported some sounds that might have been..." he cleared his throat, "...violent in nature".

"You've got to be shitting me Javi. What neighbors? The loft takes up the top two floors and it's solid concrete between us and the Campbells downstairs".

"I'm not going to ask how you know that", Espo had to hold in the smirk that was threatening to show up again. "but once we get the call we have to come out".

"Well, nothing _violent_", Kate made air quotes as she said it, "is happening here - unless you count what's going to happen to you if this continues".

"Dude. Seriously. Wouldn't you rather I show up than some random uni?"

Castle returned and walked up behind her. His formerly rumpled hair was tamed a little, and instead of being shirtless as he was before, he wore a ratty t-shirt that said, "Word Nerd: kicking adverbs, taking names".

"Javi, are we almost done here?", he said, ruining the just smoothed hair by raking his fingers through it in frustration.

"If you two would let me ask the questions, I can let you get back to... whatever". Javier looked up from his notepad to see a barely contained Beckett and a hugely frustrated and slightly embarrassed Castle. He took their silence as a sign to get on with it. "Ma'am, are you having problems with your partner?"

"No", Kate muttered. "At least not the one I'm living with".

Javi ignored the last comment and continued. "Do you feel you are in danger?"

"Are you kidding me? I could take him in my sleep".

Rick smirked, "You have".

"Shut up. You're not making this any easier". With that, Beckett hit Rick in the chest, hard.

"Ouch! Maybe I'll report you. Why don't you ask _me_ those questions Espo?"

Javier winced. "Unfortunately, the complaint was focused on sounds from a female".

"This just gets better and better", Kate continued. "Go on, get it over with".

"Every couple has disagreements, but do your fights ever turn physical?" Javier was afraid to even look up from his hands with that question, so he didn't. Pencil poised, he waited for her answer.

"Oh God. You really don't want me to answer that, do you?" When Kate saw Espo nod in the affirmative, she sucked in a deep breath. "Physical as in abuse, no".

Espo wrote something down, and then continued, "I am _so_ not taking that any further. I'm putting down 'no'."

Kate and Castle shared an exasperated look, then started to turn towards the door again. As Rick's eyes swept across the stairs, he paused and saw his daughter and mother peeking out of the closest doorway. He shot them a single finger salute, knowing now where the complaint originated. He tapped Kate on the shoulder and pointed at the women, who snickered quietly and quickly disappeared around the corner.

"I saw you!" Kate yelled. "This will not end here, I promise you".

"Just a couple more questions, then I'll leave you two to have a chat with those two". Espo pointed up the stairs, this time not holding back the grin that had been threatening to show up all evening. "Have you ever been touched in a way that made you feel uncomfortable?" He cringed then, knowing that wasn't the best question to ask Beckett.

"From Castle, no". She paused, "Wait... at least not recently". This time Kate smiled briefly, knowing this would be something they could laugh at later, but still keeping her irritation intact in order to mete out payback.

Rick bent slightly to whisper, "Uncomfortable? Really? You'll have to explain that later". His breath on the flesh behind her ear raised goosebumps down her neck, and she trembled slightly. His hold tightened on her waist, glad in the knowledge that he could still make her shiver.

"Seriously? You guys aren't making this easy on me", Espo said. "How am I supposed to answer that one in my call log?"

"Honestly?" Rick replied, "I don't give two shits what you put in your call log. There's a part of me that's proud when we get a little rowdy".

Javi cleared his throat, but ended in a cough as he realized what Castle meant. "TMI bro, TMI."

Rick Shrugged and gestured at Javi's notepad. "Finish up so I can get back to bed, dude".

"So _we_ can get back to bed". Kate added. "Let's see if we can work up a little payback for the ladies upstairs".

"Crap. I thought this would be kinda funny, not cringe-worthy. There are some things I really don't want to know".

"Unfortunately, I don't care anymore. The three of you deserve everything you get". Castle answered. The comment directed upstairs as well as to the man standing just outside his front door.

"I'm gonna skip to the end", Javi continued. "As long as you're sure everything's okay here, I just want to make sure you have somewhere you can go in an emergency, Ms. Beckett. Do you have a friend or family member that will take you in if necessary?"

"Yeah, maybe I can hit up Lanie. Although I hear she's had company over most nights". Beckett was smiling broadly now. "I could just show up and see what kind of noises you can hear from her hallway".

"Chica. That's just wrong".

Kate shrugged again. "Don't care. Are we done?"

Javier sighed in relief. "Yep. You might want to tell your housemates that calling in a fake report is a crime - I may not be so forgiving if this happens again".

"Yeah, me either". Rick bit out.

The last thing Detective Esposito heard as the door shut behind him were thundering footsteps running up the stairs and Castle's muted castigation directed at his mother and daughter. He had a passing thought about returning to make sure another report wasn't called in, but he trusted his co-workers... at least he trusted they wouldn't call anything in. He shook his head when he realized the two women would have to deal with an angry Beckett as well, and knew any punishment he'd dole out wouldn't be nearly as bad. He couldn't help but feel a little sorry for them.

Down at the front of the building one last thought crossed his mind. He was a little curious as to what kind of noises were really coming out of that bedroom, but then he shuddered violently and tried to strike the thought out of his mind... forever.


End file.
